Tough Talk / First Rant of the Season (Adult Language)

Doing this Michigan Boarder gig is for the most part enjoyable, fun and kind of a basic straightforward job. I mean, you do your best to give everyone occasion and spread the love and support the scene. Most of the time this is easy. We aren’t dicks; we would like to think we don’t just cater to “our type” of shred. We make effort to include everyone who allows us to.  We aren’t going to hold off on posting your edit because you wear fluorescent outerwear.  We won’t give you a hard time just because in your neck of the woods you’re king shit when you spin on top of a flat box. No way man, we’re doing this to try to create a giant community. It continues to grow and we are stoked on that.

However…

Some shit is whack as fuck and that is just what it is. We get a lot of correspondence. Or maybe it just seems like it. Honestly, I have no idea what a lot is but… enough. The absolute worst is the “tough talk” email. These emails are all similar in nature and although I realize the main intention of the sender is an attempt at instant acceptance and respect these are, for sure, the whackest of all emails and each one is douchier than the next. We still love you, but allow me to continue my rant…

This is going to be nearly impossible to convey without a lengthy explanation, but I will try… Picture Michigan’s resorts (we have, I think, the highest per capita). At each resort there is a group of heroes. Some of these resorts are at the far reaches of the state. As far as most people who are up to date on snowboarding are concerned these may as well be third world countries. I see this doing events for the shop I work at. Now these locals man (in their own opinion) are the modern day JP Walkers and they say how it goes. That’s fine and I feel bad. They never had a chance. A lot of these places have just awful terrain parks. I mean…what passes as the baby park at some of our state’s more prominent resorts; these guys have to make do with. The sad part…turns out they don’t even know the difference. You are only as good as your surroundings. It’s like animals that only grow as big as their cages allow, because of this, we don’t judge, laugh or point fingers. It’s just snowboarding; we are people sliding around on expensive materials doing crazy spins and shit…its nuts. Where this all goes wrong is with the emails: “Yo what’s up guys? We are so and so and we go hard. We run this bitch. So and so is competing in the Huck Fin series and got such and such a ranking in Middle Planet whatevers.”  Of course, wanting to be decent enough we chew it back, but it just continues on. Eventually we’ll slip and make the comment that “actually the best snowboarders in the state really aren’t in any of those competitions”.  You can imagine where it goes from here…“You don’t know shit, you bunch of hipster fucks, so and so just did a double somewhere and did a 1440 on the flat box, sorry we don’t wear skinny jeans, I am one of the best snowboarders in the state”. By this time I have reached the point where I lower myself to his level and explain to him that I am actually his father.

Everyone needs to remember that no matter what there is a 12 year old doing your best trick switch down a forty somewhere and for those of you who I’m speaking about…I know you’re reading this; for reference please enjoy Michigan shred Jack Harris’s edit and think about what it is you’re saying.  Jack Harris is actually one of the best riders in the state. K? K…

 

~BENNY

 

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